Forevermore

                                                          ‘I’m going to be happy’
                                                                             - Gold Fields.

I stare at the tiny world within my hands. So small, so perfect, so complete. A sense of tranquillity and calm seems to resonate from within it. The ground is covered in a thick layer of pure white snow. So white that it practically glows. There is a miniscule house towards the back of the globe, dusted with a fresh coating of snow. A house that I imagine to be warm, cosy and welcoming. A house that is a home. Sometimes, when my troubles threaten to overwhelm me, I wish I could escape to that house. I wish that I could enter the perfect untainted world encapsulated flawlessly from within the snow globe. For it is a place that cannot be reached by everyday troubles. A haven free from despair and stress and that knows only beauty and seclusion. It is completely safe and isolated from danger, protected by the glass sphere that surrounds it.

What attracts me to this globe the most however, is the snowman at its very centre. His black eyes shine brightly, his orange nose points proudly, and the black buttons down his front are positioned faultlessly. His mouth has been moulded into a perfect smile, one that radiates happiness and contentment. His neck is wrapped in a striped blue and white scarf, his head protected by a warm black top hat. His body is constructed from the same unadulterated snow that surrounds him. He is perfect, just like the perfect world he lives in.

For me, the snow globe and its snowman are a symbol of resilience. Of strength. For no matter how hard I shake the snow globe, no matter how long I insist on rattling the world within, no matter how much I try to disrupt its serenity, when the snow settles it looks just as perfect as ever. Nothing changes. Everything is as it was. No matter how violently I shake his world, the snowman continues to smile. He never breaks his composure, never alters his happy disposition. No amount of force will change him. He is determined to smile. And that is what keeps me going. Whenever I am struggling through a situation and feel like giving up or breaking down, I think back to the snowman. And what he would do in my situation. And a smile overwhelms my face.

                                                ***
                                                                          'Smile like you mean it'
                                                                                      - The Killers.

The sadistic giant before me shakes my world with all his might, a gleeful smile plastered all over his face. Every shake of his hand a thunderous attack. The snow wildly thrashing and flying around me. The transition from complete tranquillity to utter devastation instantaneous and unstoppable. I am immobilised, terrified, my feet stuck to the ground below me. My hat and scarf attached to me like a magnet. Holding me together.

There is nothing that I can do but to withstand the storm and wait for this torture to end. My mouth is permanently and unwillingly contorted into a smile, a smile that I long to turn into a grimace. A mere shake of his hand completely turns my world upside down. Literally. And I am forced to continue smiling, to his sheer delight and entertainment. I don’t want to be stuck here forever in misery, fear and captivity. I long to escape this prison, to break free from the confines of my very creation, but I am destined forevermore to be stuck within this hell. I am destined forevermore to outwardly smile, forevermore to inwardly weep. To struggle alone. Forevermore.