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                                                    'There's no kindness in your eyes,
                                         the way you look at me it's just not right'

                                                                                      - Hilary Duff.

As I look over at you across the table, I can’t help but feel doubt creeping in from all sides. From the outside, our relationship is wonderful. You tell me that you love me every single day, you buy me flowers every week and you look after me better than I can look after myself. You even brought me to my favourite restaurant this evening as a surprise treat. I couldn’t ask for any more. You are everything I could possibly hope for. But yet, something is not right. A dark voice in the back of my mind keeps whispering: ‘Don’t be so blind’. I can’t help but feel that the interior of our relationship is not as perfect as the polished exterior. Something rotten is festering there, slowly decaying its way outwards.

A pink tulip sits on the table between us; my favourite flower. I know that you asked for that flower especially. As I breathe in its sweet aroma and scrutinise its delicate shape, I notice a dark brown spot on the underside of one of the petals. Almost imperceptible amongst the overwhelming beauty. That dark brown spot shows the beginning of the end for this tulip; the early stages of decay beginning to set in. I can’t help but feel as though this tulip reflects our relationship. Faultless and beautiful at first glance, but upon closer inspection and hidden away beneath the veneer it is flawed, damaged and temporary.

You smile at me from across the table and I am almost convinced by the affection and happiness it radiates. Almost. But there is a glint in your eye that juxtaposes your warmth. A glint that has been so well hidden for so long, that I only just perceive it. A glint which is saturated with sadness and hidden thoughts. I am too scared to confront you about this, too scared of finding out the truth, and so I just smile back reassuringly and take a sip of wine. But behind my smile, my mind is running riot, asking unanswerable questions: ‘Am I your one and only desire?’ ‘Am I the reason you breathe?’ ‘Or am I the reason you cry?’  

                                           ***

                          'There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface,
                                                                              consuming, confusing'

                                                                                          - Linkin Park.

I start packing my books into cardboard boxes, wiping away the tears that continue to insist on falling. The Time Machine, The Hound of The Baskervilles, The Hobbit...all books that you bought me because you knew how much I loved reading. A wave of anger suddenly washes over me, and I start tearing pages out of the books in fury. In anger. In desperation. As a tear slowly falls and itches at my face, I violently wipe it away, scratching myself with my fingernail in the process.

I feel like you don’t want me around, like you don’t care about me. Up until now, I have bottled it all up inside me. But I can hold it in no longer. By the time you get back from work, I will be gone. You won’t even notice I’m gone. You won’t even care. You told me that you loved me and kissed me on the cheek as you rushed off to work this morning, but I know that you’re just playing a part. An Oscar winning role in the play Happy Families. Well I refuse to be your acting partner any longer. It hurts too much.

I love you with all my heart but at the same time, I think I hate you. I breathe you and I can’t live without you, but I can’t take anymore. You have made me happier than I have ever been, yet I couldn’t be any more miserable. I can’t do this anymore. I’m done.

I gather up my suitcase and the rest of my things. As I walk out of your door, I don’t look back. I take a deep breath in, weighted with emotion and decisiveness, and as I slam the door, all I can hear is the sound. The noise echoes in my mind over and over. All I can hear is the sound.

                                          ***

                                                 ‘Goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend,
                                 you have been the one, you have been the one for me’

                                                                                     - James Blunt.

I knock at the door that I once slammed so violently. The sound that still haunts my dreams at night. You open the door and look almost surprised to see me. Upon seeing your face again, a face that has dominated my every thought for months on end, I find it impossible to say anything. I just stare at you. Paralysed. Unable to do anything but stop and stare. You leave me speechless. I can’t believe I am seeing you again in the flesh. My mind can’t process it.

You wait for me to say something. Your look of surprise turns to one of concern. I suddenly notice that I am violently shaking all over. My emotions are getting the better of me. I’m shaking in shock, shaking in anticipation, shaking in anger. Tears cascade down my face and finally the words spit out of my mouth, full of venom and loathing. Even I am surprised at the malevolence I inject into them.

‘I loved you and you broke me. You ruined my life. I hate you! I can see my blood all over your hands. You turned me into this...monster. Does it make you feel more like a man to know that you have done this to me? Look what you have done!’

I begin to shake even more violently, unable to control or contain it. My teeth are clenched tightly together and my left eye starts to twitch. I see the fear in your eyes. You look down at my right hand and suddenly notice the pistol. Your beautiful eyes widen in shock. You open your mouth to try and say something, to try and stop me, but it’s no use. Nothing can stop me. I shakily raise the pistol to your head, determined. Tears fall from my eyes yet a grin overwhelms my mouth. Without a second thought I pull the trigger.

And all I hear is the sound.
This is a short story I have written for ~Rainyyuu. It’s based on the song 'Always' by the band Saliva. (So sorry for the delay in posting something new!).

Upon listening to the song, I sensed a lot of anger and resentment, and that is what I tried to capture in this piece. Notice how I used the words ‘anger’ and ‘violently’ several times throughout the piece to reiterate these feelings that the narrator feels.

To explain the piece in case any of you are left confused: The unnamed narrator is a very paranoid character who questions everything her partner does. She doesn’t believe he is being honest with her even though there is no evidence to suggest otherwise. In the first part of the story she believes he is hiding something from her, yet ironically she is concealing her own thoughts from him, suggesting she is the one with something to hide. As the story progresses she becomes less rational, less eloquent, less together. You can see she becomes more desperate and emotional. She is clearly a character with deep-seated mental health issues. The reader hasn’t seen the partner do anything wrong at all in the story and that is precisely the point. It is all in her head. He hasn’t actually done anything wrong, but in her mind and from her perspective, he is absolutely guilty. Guilty of deception, guilty of apparently playing a part. The ending is intentionally abrupt, like the sudden gunshot.

Here is a link to the song that the story is based on:
Always – Saliva: www.youtube.com/watch?v=7zEm-U…

Here are the links to the other songs referenced:
Stranger – Hilary Duff: www.youtube.com/watch?v=MyShka…
Crawling – Linkin Park: www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gd9OhY…
Goodbye My Lover – James Blunt: www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ntKgL…

Please do leave comments and let me know what you think of the story! :) :heart:
Add a Comment:
 
:iconhypermagical:
hypermagical Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2013
"But yet, something is not right." I noticed this redundancy in the first paragraph. Apart from that, just wow. :clap: I love the way you build her paranoia.
Reply
:iconcupofcharlie:
CupofCharlie Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so so much! I really appreciate it :hug:
And thanks for the favourite too! :D 
Reply
:iconhypermagical:
hypermagical Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2013
You're so welcome on both counts! :hug:
Reply
:iconwriterwithoutwords:
WriterWithoutWords Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This story is very amazing ^^ I love the detail put into it, it really is a fine piece of work Huggle!  
Reply
:iconcupofcharlie:
CupofCharlie Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Awww thank you so much!

Thank you so much for the favourite and for the watch! Wow :D :hug: 
Reply
:iconwriterwithoutwords:
WriterWithoutWords Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
It's really no problem ^^I wanted to see more of your great works %uD83D%uDE0A%uD83D%uDE04
Reply
:iconcupofcharlie:
CupofCharlie Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hahahahah awww :D
Reply
:iconclym:
Clym Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2013
Very Emo but I love it :D
Reply
:iconcupofcharlie:
CupofCharlie Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Ah thanks so much Clym! :) 
Reply
:iconnightshade-keyblade:
nightshade-keyblade Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I love the song choice. I think "Papercut" by Linkin Park works well for the whole piece, actually.
Reply
:iconcupofcharlie:
CupofCharlie Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Ahh thank you very much! Yeah you're right, that's a song about paranoia too! :) 
Thank you so much for the comment and favourite :hug: 
Reply
:iconnightshade-keyblade:
nightshade-keyblade Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:iconmypleasuresignplz: :hug:
Reply
:iconkartunistaw:
kartunistaW Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Stories like this makes me sad... especially knowing that there is no reason for the narrator to doubt what her partner does.  It could have had a happy ending but it didn't. :(
Reply
:iconcupofcharlie:
CupofCharlie Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Well the song doesn't have a very happy tone to it, its quite dark and resentful. If I had given the story a happy ending it wouldn't have been staying true to the song unfortunately. Thank you for taking the time to read it anyway and I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless :)
Reply
:iconkartunistaw:
kartunistaW Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I did enjoy reading it :).  And I understand that some stories have happy endings and some do not (I tend to write plenty of sad stories, too!).
Reply
:iconcupofcharlie:
CupofCharlie Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Glad to hear you enjoyed it :D I do tend to write sadder stories in general :P Thanks for commenting :) 
Reply
:iconmauragreen:
MauraGreen Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2013  Hobbyist
I love that song. I know songs can often be very inspirational, but you really did an amazing job making story out of it. I wondered few times how did that relationship looked like.
Reply
:iconcupofcharlie:
CupofCharlie Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I must admit I hadn't heard the song until I wrote this story on it. I like it though :) Thank you so much, I am glad you think I did a good job :) And thanks for the favourite too :D :hug: 
Reply
:iconmauragreen:
MauraGreen Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2013  Hobbyist
You're very welcome!
Reply
:iconchromeantennae:
chromeantennae Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is quite simply fantastic, Charlie. :huggle: :heart:
Reply
:iconcupofcharlie:
CupofCharlie Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Aww thank you so much Ricky. As always, your opinion is very much appreciated and valued :) :hug: :heart: 
Reply
:iconchromeantennae:
chromeantennae Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
My pleasure, as always. :hug: :heart: :D
Reply
:iconsilence-:
Silence- Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2013
This was wonderful!
I loved how you brought back the line 'And all I hear is the sound.' at the end. It was perfectly done.
And the way everything seemed so normal at first but it quickly became a much darker and manic was awesome~
Great work, Charlie!

Reply
:iconcupofcharlie:
CupofCharlie Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Yay thank you so much! It feels so good to have written some new stuff :D
Reply
:iconsilence-:
Silence- Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2013
Can't wait till you do even more :D
Reply
:iconoddsmirk:
OddSmirk Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2013  Student General Artist
Beautiful :heart:
Reply
:iconcupofcharlie:
CupofCharlie Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
So happy to hear you enjoyed it! And thanks for the favourite too :hug: 
Reply
:iconblubbityblub:
blubbityblub Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Quality literature as always. :)
Reply
:iconcupofcharlie:
CupofCharlie Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Awww thank you so much, and thanks for the favourite :D :hug: 
Reply
:iconepicaracacy:
Epicaracacy Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2013  Student Writer
As always this is beautiful Charlie :) it was well worth the wait and captures the song perfectly
Reply
:iconcupofcharlie:
CupofCharlie Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I am so glad you thought it was worth the wait :) Thanks so much and thanks for the favourite :hug: 
Reply
:iconepicaracacy:
Epicaracacy Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2013  Student Writer
:D you're welcccoomeme :)
Reply
:iconrainyyuu:
Rainyyuu Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2013  Hobbyist
This.Is.Amazing!!!
I love how you divided it into three parts and I can just see as she crumbles further and further up until that last sentence. That ending really made me hold my breath.
I just have no words to express how much I love this and your style of writing and just you!!
Thank you so so so much for this!!
Reply
:iconcupofcharlie:
CupofCharlie Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I am so so glad you like it! I was really worried you wouldn't haha :P 
Yeah I divided it into three parts because I thought the song divides well into three verses :) 
I am just so happy you like it! Thanks for the favourite :D
And you are completely welcome, thanks for sending me a literature request :D :hug: 
Reply
:iconrainyyuu:
Rainyyuu Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2013  Hobbyist
I absolutely love it :D
And no worries!!
Reply
:iconcskadoz:
cskadoz Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2013   General Artist
:clap: x 1000 way fun read. great voice tone and character. love your introspection -- compelling.
yep, crazy chicks -- gotta love 'em.
Reply
:iconcupofcharlie:
CupofCharlie Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I am so happy to hear you enjoyed this piece!
Haha thanks so much :D :hug:
Reply
:iconlubrian:
Lubrian Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
really great work sis, definitely one of your best so far :)
Reply
:iconcupofcharlie:
CupofCharlie Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Awww thank you sis! And thanks for the favourite :hug: 
Reply
:icontylerp1991:
tylerp1991 Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
pretty epic dude. i really like this one. it's very relating . well done
Reply
:iconcupofcharlie:
CupofCharlie Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm so happy to hear you enjoyed it! Thank you so much :) :hug: 
Reply
:icontylerp1991:
tylerp1991 Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
indeeed. :) 
Reply
:iconweekendhunters:
weekendhunters Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hooray! Finally, a story after quite some time.
Reply
:iconcupofcharlie:
CupofCharlie Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I know it's been a while. Just been so busy recently. Did you like it? 
Reply
:iconmalco735:
Malco735 Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
To be honest, I wasn't sure whether the narrator was telling the truth or not, but I liked that. I also liked the change in styles from eloquent and clear-minded down to frantic and irrational. A smooth transition that doesn't hit you so much as draw you in.

The ending had me asking for more. Great job :D
Reply
:iconcupofcharlie:
CupofCharlie Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Well in the narrator's mind everything she thinks is the truth. In reality, he hasn't actually done anything wrong. It's all down to perception. Thank you so so much :D Thanks for the favourite too :D :hug: 
Reply
:iconmalco735:
Malco735 Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Indeed! What I really like about it is that it all came from one tiny thought and just snowballed from there.

You're very, very welcome :D :hug:
Reply
:iconcupofcharlie:
CupofCharlie Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I am honoured to hear you like it! :) 
Reply
:iconmalco735:
Malco735 Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
No problem :) I really do like it
Reply
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